Weekender #203

The Assist Newsletter
September 5, 2025
Cute illustration of a smiling sun with long, colorful rays and the quote, “Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you.” —Walt Whitman.

🤔 Brainteaser of the day: Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Michael J. Fox has a short one. Madonna does not use hers. Bill Clinton always uses his. The pope never uses his. What is it?

Click here to see the answer.

Today’s Checklist:

  • Joanna opens up about suicide prevention month
  • The podcast that’ll make you relive your teenage years
  • Pet of the week: Meet Aber

🗓️ Back by popular demand: Our AI Master Class returns Sept 11—featuring 3 (updated) power plays to land a $10K+ raise and reclaim 10+ hours a week. Only 2,000 seats available. Save yours now.

QUICK LINKS

😓 Burnout’s twin? Meet boreout.

🌿 Why essentialism is the antidote to doing it all.

💬 Engage your team without the awkward icebreakers.

⚠️ Beware of pathological productivity. It looks like ambition but

CONFERENCE SEASON

 

illustration of two people shaking hands at a conference

Don’t Fumble This Networking Question

Over Labor Day weekend, I was at a girlfriend’s divorce party in Sonoma (mid-30s era is…something else 😂). Since I was already up north, I had zero excuse not to swing by INBOUND in San Francisco (thank you Carly from Hubspot for the invite!).

Conferences are always a mixed bag of networking, inspiration, and way too much coffee. Oh, and in this case, a Colin Jost comedy set that didn’t disappoint.

But the standout moment for me came during a session with Shaan Puri (co-host of My First Million; if you’re not listening yet, add it to your queue for spicy takes on business, trends, and money moves). He hosted a founder meetup where people pitched their companies…only for it to turn into a live pitch roast.

One founder explained how their product helps lawyers cut down on wasted time from free consultations (and not even in that straightforward of an explanation). Shaan paused and asked:

“Okay, so it saves time. But why do lawyers care about saving time? Because their time = money. Why not pitch it as: We save lawyers $50K a year by cutting free consults in half.”

And that’s the point: most people (even really smart, accomplished people) don’t walk into conferences with a pitch sharp enough to stick. Instead, they drown you in jargon or ramble through their company bio.

So, let’s fix that:

  1. Start with the after Don’t lead with what you do; lead with what happens after. “I help small businesses double their client pipeline” > “I run a marketing consultancy.”

  2. Answer the “why now?” test. If your pitch doesn’t make someone feel urgency, it’s forgettable. Tie your value to money, growth, or survival.

  3. Anchor in a number. Numbers cut through noise. “We saved our clients 312 hours last quarter” is more memorable than “we streamline workflows.”

  4. Curiosity > completeness. our pitch is a hook, not your TED Talk. Leave them with a “Wait, how do you do that?” instead of glazing over their eyes.

  5. Run it through the cringe test. Say it out loud. If you’d feel embarrassed saying it to your childhood best friend, rewrite it.

This Weekend’s Challenge

When the classic networking question comes up (“So, what do you do?”) would your answer earn a polite nod…or genuine curiosity?

Not sure? Try this AI chain prompt to build your pitch:

1️⃣ Get interviewed first

“Act like a curious friend. Ask me 5 quick-fire questions to help me explain what I do and why it matters. Ask one at a time and wait for my answer before moving on.”

2️⃣ Draft the messy first version

“Using my answers, write an elevator pitch in plain, everyday language like I’m talking to someone at a bar, not a boardroom.”

3️⃣ Cut the fluff

“Now rewrite it in one sentence that would make someone at a conference say, ‘Wait, tell me more.’ No jargon. No filler.”

4️⃣ Turn up the volume

“Give me 3 punchy versions of this pitch: one bold, one playful, one no-BS straight shooter.”

5️⃣ Reality check

“Rewrite the version that feels strongest so it sounds natural for me to say out loud, not like a corporate press release.”

Because if Shaan can turn a bland “we save lawyers time” into a pitch that makes you want to invest, you can definitely sharpen yours before your next networking run 😉.

circle image of Joanna, Co-Founder of TA

Joanna (TA Co-Founder)

SUNDAY SCARIES

Cartoon of a worried man surrounded by office-related icons like a calendar, clock, pencil, and bar graph, with ghost-like figures emerging from a laptop displaying the word "Sunday," representing the Sunday Scaries.

Beat The Sunday Scaries Before They Beat You

 

That 3PM dread on Sunday? When the weekend fades and your brain whispers: “You’re not ready for Monday.”

That’s the Sunday Scaries. Nearly 80% of professionals feel them, but you don’t have to spend your night in that headspace.

Try these resets instead:

🧠 Name it.

It’s anticipatory stress, not doom. Once you label it, you can shrink it.

✍️ Dump it out.

Skip the color-coded to-do list. Do a messy brain dump (projects, errands, emails, etc.) then move the noise into something structured, like monday.com.

🧘 Make it ritual.

Trade stress-scrolling for something grounding. A walk, a slow dinner, your favorite podcast. A ritual signals safety to your brain.

📆 Sweeten Monday.

Set up something small to look forward to like your latte order, a no-meetings block, or a quick “win of the week” text with a friend.

The clearer your week looks, the less your brain spins. monday.com makes it simple.

Bonus: Check out our startup guide. It’s built for beginners and actually works.

STAFF PICKS

Three polaroid-style panels labeled "Read," "Watch," and "Listen." The first features the book All the Colors of the Dark by Chris, the second shows a promo for the TV show Big Fat Fabulous Life, and the third highlights the podcast The Teen Commandments with two smiling women.

📚 Read: All the Colors of the Dark by Chris Whitaker

Think sweeping small-town saga meets psychological thriller. Two kids, one dark secret, and decades of fallout. It’s emotional, twisty, and the kind of book that makes you cancel plans.

📺 Watch: My Big Fat Fabulous Life

Follow Whitney Way Thore as she juggles body image, family drama, and big life shifts with humor and grit. You’ll laugh, you’ll tear up, and you’ll remember why confidence is the ultimate binge.

🎧 Listen: The Teen Commandments by Sara Cox

Radio host Sara Cox and her best friend Clare Hamilton relive their cringiest teen years while raising five teenagers between them. Expect wild stories, sharp wit, and the comforting reminder that parenting is messy for everyone.

EXCEL UPGRADE

Cartoon ninja striking a pose between an Excel spreadsheet on a laptop and an alarm clock, symbolizing productivity and time-saving spreadsheet skills.

Still Cleaning Data by Hand? Let’s Fix That in Under an Hour.

 

If you’re spending way too much time sorting columns, deleting duplicates, or manually tweaking your spreadsheets, you’re not bad at Excel.

You’re just missing a few high-impact tricks.

In her free 60-minute class, Miss Excel (the spreadsheet queen with 1M+ fans) shows you how to:

Turn messy data into clean insights, fast. No more endless sorting or copy-pasting.

🤖 Put macros to work for you. Record it once, run it forever.

🧠 Automate the boring stuff. Save your brain for the work that actually matters.

This isn’t another dry Excel tutorial. It’s fun, it’s quick, and it’s built for people who just want to work smarter.

By the end, you’ll walk away with:

  • Time-saving skills you’ll use immediately
  • Simple automation you can actually stick with
  • That “why didn’t I learn this sooner?” moment

👉 Grab your free spot and take back your time from spreadsheets.

JUST FOR FUN

Blurry cat meme with a caption that reads, “When you’ve already explained a process to a coworker then wrote out step-by-step instructions and they still ask how to do it,” set against a blurred office background.

PET OF THE WEEK

A brindle dog wearing a blue collar lies belly-up on a bright blue patterned blanket, completely relaxed. Above the photo is the title “Pet of the Week” surrounded by paw prints and bone icons.

Meet Aber

 

Aber is the ultimate couch potato with a heart full of love! When she’s not napping, she loves long, leisurely walks, where she takes her time smelling every flower and keeping an eye out for those mischievous squirrels.

But her favorite activity of all? Snuggling up close and getting endless belly rubs. Whether she’s curled up next to you on the couch or nuzzling for attention, she’s the biggest cuddle bug, always ready to shower everyone with affection and brighten your day with her sweet, loving nature.

Her favorite snacks are bananas, strawberries, and peanut butter. You can tell by the puddle of drool she leaves behind as she is patiently waiting for her treat.

🐾 Got a cute fur baby? Submit them to be our pet of the week in an upcoming issue.

JOB LEADS

A stylized ribbon banner with shades of blue and green displays the word "HIRING" in bold, dark blue letters on a cream-colored background. The design has a clean and modern look against a light gray backdrop.

Your Next Gig = One Click Away

 

View more jobs here >

SPILL THE TEA

Take Our Poll

TA Poll Weekder 203

Have more feedback? 💌 Reply to this email and tell us.

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